DISABILITIES

By Daniel J. Vance

“Annie” is an 80-year-old reader from South Dakota not comfortable using her real name. She has been tempered by a lifelong exposure to disability, including her son's tragic loss of limb, her late husband's Alzheimer's disease, and her own current heart condition.

“My son lost his arm from the mid-forearm down in a hunting accident at age 13 in 1971,” she said in a telephone interview. “To help him learn the use of his new 'claw hook,' we told him he could eat all the cherry chocolates he could pick up without crushing. He loved cherry chocolates.”

She partially credits his current well-adjusted life to her honesty. “I wouldn't let him be depressed,” she said. “When being fitted for his first prosthesis, he asked, 'Do you like the looks of it?' I told him I didn't. And I said there was nothing we could do to change it. If I'd bemoaned the fact that the accident had happened, he would have hated his claw hook.”

When Annie and her family moved to a new city as her son was entering the eighth grade, a teacher there eased the potentially difficult social transition by allowing him to explain the loss of limb to his class. “After that he was treated the same as anyone,” said Annie.

Eventually her son would acquire an artificial hand that could be screwed on and off, much like his “claw hook.” Today he uses the artificial hand, but only for formal occasions. He still works full-time in the automobile industry and recently celebrated 25 years of marriage.

As for Annie's husband with Alzheimer's disease—he died 15 years ago. “[With the Alzheimer's] he liked running away from home to have 'coffee,' she said. “And he tried fixing things he could no longer fix. One afternoon he put the battery charger on my car, forgot about it, and it exploded. For days he went around saying, 'Boom!'”

What has gotten her through so many emotional ups and downs?

“No one lives on the mountaintop all the time,” she said. “Everyone has to face the valley once in a while. There are no guarantees in this life. You take life for what it gives, and you're stronger if you survive.”

And her son?

“So many people would call him handicapped,” she said. “But he likes saying he's handi-capable.”

For more, see www.danieljvance.com