DISABILITIES

By Daniel J. Vance

Often, people will tell me their personal stories about disability, but only under the condition of anonymity. Such is the case of “Karen,” a regular reader of this column in the Upper Midwest.

“[After our daughter was born] our doctor referred to her as a 'mongoloid,' which is a derogatory term used years ago to refer to people with Down syndrome,” said 38-year-old Karen in a telephone interview. In time she switched daughter “Lynn” to another doctor due to a similar belittling incident.

Down syndrome affects about 350,000 Americans. It is caused by a defective cell division creating three instead of two No. 21 chromosomes in an embryo, and is the leading cause of mental retardation.

Today, Lynn is age 10 and appears very happy and well adjusted. Karen and her family have been successfully navigating the emotional and mental challenges of raising a child with a disability, including a heart operation early on to repair a hole between the upper two chambers of Lynn's heart. Karen home-schools Lynn and her four siblings.

What holds their family together?

Said Karen, “When first finding out that 'Lynn' had Down syndrome, my husband and I immediately clung to each other. We promised then that we would raise her as we had our other children and not lower our expectations or make excuses for her. As for having her in our lives, I believe we are a little more more patient, a little more tolerant and understanding, and hopefully a little more loving because of what 'Lynn' has taught us.”

So what is she like?

“She is usually very cheerful and freely gives love and affection,” said Karen. “She has an uncanny ability to know just when someone needs a hug. She has exhibited a patience that I often marvel at. There have been times when she has had to go through painful medical procedures, but after she gets through them she gives a tearful 'thank you' to the doctor or nurse. Doing this has made nurses cry. Lynn also has a hilarious sense of humor. We call her our 'home entertainment system' because of the [laughter she gives us].”

Karen said that when facing challenges, people often begin realizing what is most important in life. As for her family, she said they “put God first,” and that “he helps us keep the rest in order.”

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