DISABILITIES

By Daniel J. Vance

Alice Barnes of southwest Ohio has been through a lot since 1999. Doctors that year diagnosed her father with Alzheimer's disease, and five years later her 89-year-old mother had a stroke.

“At first, my dad went through a period of trying to cover up for [his Alzheimer's] by joking about not remembering things,” said 55-year-old Barnes in a telephone interview. “Then a few days before he was supposed to sing 'God Bless America' on Memorial Day at our church, he asked where the church was located. Yet he'd sung there for many years. That was the first signal to me that something was really wrong.”

The Alzheimer's Disease Education and Referral Center website defines Alzheimer's disease as "the most common form of dementia among older people," affecting the areas of the brain managing thought, language, and memory. Usually the first symptom is mild forgetfulness. About four million Americans have the disease.

“My dad and mom managed alone for a while,” said Barnes. “She depended on him for getting places. I believe she was in denial a long time with [his Alzheimer's] because she didn't want him giving up his driver's license. Doing so would have made her feel isolated and dependent on others to get around.”

So Barnes did what she could, and helped her father by taking him on neighborhood walks, taping his singing to replay to him later when he would feel agitated or confused, and taking him to senior center “chair volleyball” games. He died in 2001, only weeks after moving into a nursing home.

Then in November 2004, Barnes' mother had a stroke. “It was devastating,” she said. “She can't use her right arm, hand or leg, or walk, read or write. What's worst is she can't talk well.” But she can remember people and still enjoy their company. She also feeds herself with her left hand and pushes herself around in her wheelchair with her left foot.

Again, Barnes did what she could. “I keep finding things for her to do,” she said of her daily visits. “She always enjoyed sewing and knitting. So my husband and I made her a loom to make place mats out of yarn. She can do it on her own. The weaving seems to calm her.”

She and her husband support each other in order to get through, she said.

For more, see www.danieljvance.com or www.alzheimers.org