DISABILITIES

By Daniel J. Vance

Perhaps this column will brighten your holiday season.

Back in 1985, Renee Haines, now of Westminster, Maryland, was getting ready to give birth to her second child, son Matt. “I was only 22, so I was a young mom,” said 46-year-old Haines in a telephone interview. “He was the only child with whom I would have a sonogram, and the doctor just didn't see it.”

The “it” she referred to was a birth defect. Matt was born missing his left arm below the elbow.

“It was a shock at first,” said Haines of the birth, “but it wasn't a downer. His disability could have been a lot worse. Then I began walking on air. His birth became exciting. I was thinking he was a gift from God. He had cute little dimples and looked like he had blond highlights in his hair. He was beautiful and the nurses made a fuss about his hair.”

Over time, Matt grew up “being treated like he had two hands,” said Haines. “We tried treating him like any other child and not like he was special. Physically, he adapted well. He learned to tie his shoes. There was very little he couldn't do that a child with two arms could except clap his hands. He has amazing balance and coordination.”

Early on, after he was fitted for a prosthesis, Haines went into her son's classroom at first to help introduce his classmates to the idea. Into third grade, Matt would use his “claw,” but eventually gave it up because he felt it was just too cumbersome.

In high school, he played on the varsity soccer team. Then, noticing Matt had “rhythm,” Haines purchased a drum set. Matt initially learned drumming by strapping his stick to his “nub” using a cloth armband. After mastering his drumming skills, he joined a band, and today plays with “This The Rescue,” based in Maryland.

At 24, Matt also attends Towson University, and has been majoring in mass communications. His mother said he is very friendly, and he has talked about using his communication skills in a hospital setting.

She offered advice: “I would encourage parents facing a similar situation that it's not as difficult as it could be. Do your best to help your child develop the (character) tools to be successful and to help them overcome the stigma that comes with missing a hand.”

Contact danieljvance.com [All American Foods and Blue Valley Sod made this column possible.]